The title explains what I have to say pretty well.
All throughout the beginning of winter, I was fairly disappointed. There was no snow, and there was no moisture. There was only a dry, chilly wind that forced me to blink every second or so to once I got indoors to acclimatize my eyes. I can deal with that. What had me disappointed was the fact that we, at the time*, had no snow and thusly no snow days. A snow day is to Drake what a sick day is to the Comcast utility worker that was supposed to be at your house three hours ago to fix your internet. An excuse to not come in, to sit back and forget how terrible this Comcast worker’s life is because we’re no longer talking about Drake’s life. This is, of course, an incentive to like winter, because you might just get some snow, it might just overwhelm the road, and it might just give you a penalty-free day off.
You see, this disappointment took the form of mocking the state of the winter and claiming it wasn’t a winter at all. It was just a windy, chilly spring and even that wouldn’t last.
The Gods have a sick sense of humor.
It is officially spring. After being metaphorically and not physically (because that would change the tone of this article entirely) drowned in snow, rain, sleet and cold, it is spring. The sun is out. Said sun is making fun of us and refusing to provide any sort of refreshing warmth on a day when it is not obscured.
I probably caused this, so I’m going to go sacrifice my favorite goat now and beg for forgiveness. In the meantime, think happy thoughts, like of all that stuff you’re going to do over spring break. Like… Call of Duty. And…Call of Duty. And Florida. Think about how warm and sunny it’s going to be and how delightful it will be to go to Wal-Mart without seeing that ten foot tall pillar of dirty snow dominating the parking lot, and you won’t even have to worry about the Illuminati spying on you from inside of it. Yes. Think happy thoughts. And don’t come after me. I’m looking at someone in my chem class who suggested just that. I seriously doubt it would change the Rain God’s sense of humor, so there’s no need for that.
Please note: I am not a follower of any polytheistic religion, I just used it for an article theme. Don’t call the Inquisition on me. Please.