Oh, how I miss summer break already. How I miss waking up at five in the evening to find that my friend has two tickets to that thing I like and could not find anybody better at being a human being to go with. That was a bag of fun. I don’t use the term lightly, because you can only fit so much fun in the palms of your hands before it overflows. With a bag, you can carry so much more of it. You can supply entire bus rides with an ample supply of fun–
I’ve already gone off on a tangent and completely missed what I came here to do. That was incredibly fast. Fast to the point where I’m torn between whether it is an egregious failure on my part or a kind of twisted success, where you manage to break the fail-o-meter and spill out that cool, refreshing mercury.
Jellison Journalism returns for a spectacular(?) year two on the U-Post. This year, I have no idea what I’m going to do, seeing as how last year I told you I’d be tackling all sorts of things that I never actually got around to doing. I’d have somewhere to move forward, were it not for the fact that I have not received any emails from that request at the end of my last post. Perhaps I have, but they’re buried beneath those seven hundred and fifty unread emails. I should probably clean those out. I digress, this year I have no structure or schedule. There is only muse, keyboard and time management, and that seemed to work just fine last year. I thank you for bothering to read my lost, chaotic thoughts and to give my ideas a skim-over as you procrastinate instead of doing your math homework.
You should do that. Yes, you have homework. It’s due tomorrow.
Your patronage is appreciated. It’s kind of like therapy for the both of us- I write something pointless, you read something pointless, we both go home in a swell mood and are wholly prepared to wrap up the day with some kitten videos.
Now, for my first topic. Not quite a full post, but that’s A-Okay.
I, er, might have angered the rain god again not long ago. Now, he’s a pretty angry guy and may have had one too many when reading my stuff, but as you can see rain is now a mythical creature. It’s like a unicorn, or ethics in politics. You might see it once, but then it’s gone and nobody believes you when you claim it was there and if you keep raving, you’ll probably end up in a bouncy room. It’s been one of the hottest summers we’ve had in a while, temperatures spiking 104 on some days and 94 on others at complete random. You might have read that a few schools in Illinois, Tennessee and a few other states were forced to shut down due to the persistent heat and humidity. This has made for particularly agonizing practices and games in certain outdoor sports such as Soccer and Cross Country. If you read back into our long and beautiful history, you’ll know that I managed to get this particular rain god angry at some other point, causing him to effectively destroy the sun for an extended period of time.
Well, it’s kind of like that, but with the sun being around too much. I’m starting to think that he’s doing this just to mess with us. I don’t have any more goats, so I figured I would just buy him a few lottery tickets. Or something. Maybe give him some deodorant and a chocolate bar, all in a box. You see, the trick is that the chocolate bar is going to melt if he doesn’t cool things down, and you can’t very well drink a Godiva luxury chocolate-filled chocolate bar studded and encrusted with chocolate, can you?
To answer that question, sort of. I’ve tried. It was not refreshing.
Let’s see, I managed to go off on a tangent on no less than three subjects and I can’t read my own work without at least two blank stares…
Mission accomplished. I’m back and happy to be here.