Drake returns once more to bring you… Well, to be honest, I didn’t really think this one through, so I don’t know what I’m bringing you. Perhaps I bring you… Let’s say it’s a box, and within that box is another box, and within that box is Drake, because I can fit into boxes, and within that Drake is the human spirit, and within the human spirit is a whirling vortex of hypocrisy and weakness that somehow comes off as endearing. It’s an analogy, okay? I don’t have the money to bring you the human spirit. Or myself, for that matter. I am quite expensive. Not even Walmart can sell a Drake, and believe me, they’ve tried.
I digress (Lovely, we’re already off topic! I’m going to meet my quota at this rate!). As you might have seen in my other posts, thinking is not a prerequisite for writing, much less success. If you’d like an example of how I am perfectly correct and how nobody has any right to judge me and how you should certainly give me your credit card number, take a gander at our good friend, the sloth.
You might not want to watch the link below at school with everyone else watching, as zefrank1 can be quite… Shall we say, blunt about the observations he makes. This is what makes him such a credible researcher. He has a charming voice, too. Quite soothing, if I do say so myself. No, really, he could take your house and you’d thank him for it. He could make you think you were a fish if he just… Anyway…
Ah, sloth, folly of mankind. You see, the sloth, as so astutely observed by critically acclaimed researcher zefrank1, is not extinct. As you may have observed yourself (See? Your parents were wrong, you do have the makings of a critically acclaimed researcher about you! Try hard and believe in yourself and every day is a Friday.), I am not quite extinct. I almost got there once due to a tragic trampoline accident that momentarily rendered me a martyr in the souls and hearts of all stalwart defenders of virtue and justice, but I didn’t go extinct. Not quite.
So here I am, doing things that are not extinct. I return for the Nth time.
Now, on with the science.
Have you ever wondered why it is that badly dubbed movies seem so conspicuous in their… Conspicuousness? To some people, myself included, badly synced sound stands out and makes it hard to enjoy the movie at hand. Well, unless we’re talking Old Godzilla, where the poorly synced sound is just part of the experience.
Turns out, this isn’t really the T.V’s fault. Our brains are actually watching a really fast stop-motion film right now. Like, as you’re reading this. It’s called the game of life, and your brain and eyes work as a team. Your brain decides whether or not you’re going to own a mansion at the end, or whether or not you’ll be living in that nice country home with the golf course and the nearby chicago-style pizza place that gives you a discount. In other words, the brain uses our eyes, swapping images in and out fast enough to make things appear fluid. They aren’t and it would so happen that there is about a tenth of a second of time, or 100 milliseconds, that the audio signals must arrive within.
That’s when our brains sync the audio and video for us. Even if it’s off by a little, a few milliseconds, give or take, the brain doesn’t know. It just puts the audio and the video together and pretends that they’re good. But even one millisecond – even one – beyond or before that little buffer area, and our brains will realize that something’s not right. That’ll be when you get Old Godzilla or a case of Bad Lip reading. Both of which I highly recommend, by the way.
I got this info from a blog detailing science facts of the day. This one was #506, my… Admittedly, not my favorite number, which is 7. What? Nothing wrong with liking 7, it’s a cool number! Clichés work sometimes, you know.
Looking back over this post, it at least meets the required amount of tangents and the quota of digressions from the topic at hand. In short, I can rest assured that I wrote this, and that I am not actually a side character in a Disney movie. Nope. This writing proves to me that I’m the protagonist, which also means that my theories about my own invulnerability are true.
Now, to test them.
Thanks for taking the time to read. Stay thirsty, my friends.