Dear Hank Vol. 2

Dear Hank Vol. 2

“Dear Hank, have been having issues with getting my ideas out there. I feel like my ideas aren’t that good and I don’t like it when people share them because it makes me feel more embarrassed if anything. I want to break out of my shell and feel comfortable enough with sharing some of my writing to the community, but I just feel like if I did, it would likely be seen as me just being…weird. What should I do?”

Dear Antisocial Creator,

I feel you on this one, human. It’s also hard for me to get my ideas out there and have people understand them. What I’ve learned, though, is that all ideas lead to something else. Even if it’s a bad idea, it might spark something else. It might not even be a bad idea, but one that needs a tad bit of refinement. If people are sharing your ideas, that means that people think that your ideas ARE GOOD. For example, I was embarrassed to express my desire to have a birthday bash for myself, but when I told Lade, she was ecstatic! It’s important to share ideas, because otherwise, you might miss out on stuff, like that awesome birthday party I got to have.




“So apparently just because I talk to a guy it immediately gives people the idea that we’re dating which is 100% FALSE! I have literally had four different people come up to me and ask if there is anything going on between us??? How should I shut down the rumors that we are NOT dating? And how do I make it not sound rude when I tell people what they are thinking isn’t correct?”

Dear Not Actually Dating, 

It’s always so irritating when people get certain aspects about you wrong, especially your relationships. For your question on shutting down the rumors, this depends. If you know the people coming up to you and asking if you’re dating your friend, you should sit them down and just tell them what’s really going on. If you don’t know the people, however, my suggestion is to just ignore them. The rumors will most likely pass, and it’s likely that you’ll rarely talk to these random people coming up to you in the future. Also, it seems these people should worry about themselves more than asking invasive questions about a stranger’s dating life, but that’s just my thinking.

For the second part of your question, about not sounding rude, the best way to go about telling people they’re wrong is to not actually think about it that way at all. Instead of framing it like “they’re wrong,” think of it instead like “they don’t know the whole story yet.” This more positive attitude will be reflected in your responses to others, and so you won’t be “rude.” It’s also important that you’re calm and polite. If you act very upset by these rumors, people will think that you’re being defensive and will even further believe that you’re dating your friend. 

Best of luck on squashing these rumors, 



“i think i have a crush on my best friend what do i do”

Dear Crushing on Best Friend, 

Admittedly, your question is very vague, so I’ll try to help you the best I can. Like always, I’d begin with asking yourself if you have the time or energy for a relationship at this moment. After that, you should also consider the environment around you. For example, is your best friend in a relationship? That would certainly be problematic if so. If not, then there’s probably nothing wrong with trying to ask them out. 

I’m wondering if you are afraid of ruining your friendship by trying to make it less platonic. Or maybe you’re scared of the dreaded “friend-zone.” My advice is to stop worrying. You’re young. You should do what you feel is right. Perhaps if you’re afraid of ruining your friendship, you should sit down and have a conversation with your best friend about your feelings and about your friendship. You’ll never know how they feel until you talk to them. 

Hopefully this helped to answer your question.

Best of luck, 



“As everyone is growing up and changing at UHS, I was wondering if feeling pressured to change to be like everyone else is normal and what I should do about it. I have no doubt that with your omnipotent guidance, you shall give the perfect answer!”

Dear People,

Am I wrong to hope that my most faithful follower has written to me again? If I may ask, how are my followers doing? Is it time to create a Hank inner circle? Perhaps a Hank Politburo?

Now, pertaining to your question, as an omniscient being with several dog years of life experience and infinite sagacity under my (figurative) belt, I can inform you that growth and change are natural processes, but they may manifest differently in everyone (and some incompetent humans definitely have a long journey of growth ahead of them). 

While there are always pressures to fit in, remember that only you have the ability to grow and change yourself into a vision of perfection similar to myself. If being like everyone else pleases you, then you may not have what it takes to be a Hank Politburo member. Otherwise, I will welcome you with open arms.



*Disclaimer: The U Post does not endorse or support cult and/or cult-like behavior. The U Post is not aware of any such “inner circle” or “Hank Politburo” associations within UHS. The opinions and values expressed are Hank’s alone, and do not reflect the opinions and values of the U Post and/or UHS. Additionally, the U Post would like state that it believes being “basic” and/or “mainstream” is a perfectly valid life decision. Do you.*


“Why do the fire alarms keep going off?”

Dear Fire Alarms, 

Fire alarms are a great tool to ensure safety in places like schools and other facilities that hold large quantities of people. But sometimes, they get triggered even when they’re not supposed to. Whether it’s by a sliding backpack or a baby on top of laundry, these types of accidents are bound to happen at one time or the other. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have fire alarms at all, although those missed lunch periods in the parking lot may make you think that. Because of my short legs I can’t run very fast and I probably could not outrun the fire. So I’d rather there be a couple of false alarms than no alarms at all. Just think about that.




“I depended on other people to receive the love and affection I lacked in my life; significant others, family members, friends. More often than not, I felt that something was still missing. I’m pretty sure that thing is self love, I just already love myself and I don’t know how I can love myself “enough”. I also feel the need for constant physical contact like hugging. What am I missing?”

Dear Self-Love,

It is perfectly normal and okay to desire physical affection and emotional support from others, as long as that desire doesn’t form a dependency. It seems that you are already aware of that, which is great! However, there isn’t exactly a linear path to “loving yourself enough.” Self-love is an everyday journey. Some days you love yourself more than others, and that’s okay. Some days you might feel more “clingy” in or need of attention than others, and that’s also okay.

You don’t seem to be missing anything at all. As a pug that receives a lot of love and attention, I can tell you that it feels great to feel cared for and at times, pampered. One suggestion I can make is looking for things that make you feel happy when you’re by yourself. Loving yourself can take many forms, whether that be positive self-talk or self-care. You seem to have the positive self-talk down, but perhaps finding more self-care activities will lessen your desire for constant affection from others. 

Sometimes the best kind of affection and care comes right from yourself. Sure, I love being cradled and treated like royalty around the school, but I also love taking naps in the College Counseling Office during the day, which is a solo activity. Both are great in their own ways, and finding some more solo activities for yourself might help you find what you might be “missing.”



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