Dear Hank Vol. 3

Dear Hank Vol. 3

“I met a guy 2 weeks ago in one of my classes, and I had no idea that he was a junior until after I started to have feelings for him. I am a freshman btw! I have had a few conversations with him and he seems very nice, we have also studied together out of class too! At the moment I am just getting to know him and I don’t want to rush into things so soon. I do consider him as friend and so does he. I do plan on eventually tell him about my feelings. I just want to get some advice on how to go about this scenario because I am just afraid of rejection and my feelings ruining the friendship that we have. Plus he is a junior so I don’t know if I should even tell him or not…. I’m just confused on what to do!”

Dear Crushing on a Junior,

Firstly, I would like to apologize for the late reply. I happened to be snoozing for slightly too long this time around. 

Anyway, I first want to say that you’ve got the situation mostly figured out. Instead of rushing, you’re taking your time and actually considering options. In regard to how to go about the scenario, I’d suggest asking yourself what do you value more: your existing friendship with this guy, or the possibility of a relationship with him? You’re right in saying that there is a possibility of rejection here. 

If you do want to pursue a relationship with him, I would highly suggest sitting down with him and telling him almost exactly what you told me, including the insecurity about friendship status. Many problems like this can be solved through simple communication, and I believe that this situation is no different. 

If you decide not to pursue a relationship, then I suggest just enjoying your friendship with him. You said it yourself, he seems very nice. It’s good to surround yourself with nice people, especially people who seem to care enough about school to study with you. 

Whatever decision you make, hopefully this response will help you. 

Best regards, 

Hank

 

 

“I just got out of a relationship and think I already got a crush on someone else already, help”

Dear Crush Problems, 

Perhaps you should focus on yourself.

I won’t be a party pooper and say that as a high school student, you should focus on your studies rather than relationships, as possibly good points those may be, but I’ll advise against immediately dating another person. If you want to be in a relationship with this new crush, you should ask yourself why your last relationship ended. If it was even partly your fault, you should work on yourself before you enter into a relationship with another person, to avoid hurting both them and yourself. 

You should also take at least a short break from dating for the simple fact that we all need a little recovery time. Enjoy being single for a while; it’s never bothered me. 

Best of luck with your romantic endeavors, 

Hank

 

 

“Dear Hank, 

What the frick is oatmeal??”

Dear Oatmeal,

According to Webster Dictionary, oatmeal is a porridge made from rolled or ground oats. It is typically a dish served for breakfast, but only heathens eat it. It has a high fiber content, so if you’re constipated, you should give this a try. 

I genuinely hope that this response leaves you more educated than before. 

Best of luck in expanding your palate, 

Hank

 

 

“I’m obsessed with teacher validation and envy people who are more favored by teachers I admire, especially if it’s in a class that I genuinely like and want to be good at. How do I stop this?”

Dear Obsession,

I suggest that you ask yourself if the quality of your education is being compromised. If not, then maybe this is a non-issue. If so, then I have a few suggestions for you so you can curb this obsession. 

Firstly, you should ask yourself why you crave teacher validation so much. If you get to the heart of this want, then getting rid of the want will be significantly easier. Oftentimes, when someone really wants external validation, it’s because they feel less confident in themselves. I don’t want to make any assumptions, but perhaps that is what’s at the heart of the issue. If you think that is the case, then you should work on loving yourself. No one can love you more than you love yourself, so you should start with you first. 

One way to raise my confidence that I have personally found very successful is complimenting myself everyday and limiting my negative self-talk. You’ll be surprised at how something small like this can turn your outlook around. Soon, you’ll be satisfied with your own approval that you’ll never even think about what your teacher would say. 

Best of luck, 

Hank

 

 

“For some reason I can’t seem to find meaning in my life. It seems like everything we do is futile if all we do is die in the end. How do I deal with this crisis and learn to love living my life again? How do you find purpose in your short pug life?”

Dear Trying to Find Meaning,

It is important to remember that “meaning” is a relative term. For me, I find meaning through taking daytime naps and running through the grass majestically.

Although death is inevitable, it is important to remember that life should not be completely defined by how it ends. Unless, of course, you die in an excruciatingly embarrassing manner such as tripping over a pug and falling five stories. Not that this would ever happen to you, I just thought I would mention it as a gentle reminder to be careful while walking.

Purpose doesn’t always have to be meaningful. For example, some students find purpose through playing video games for several days straight or eating vast amounts of junk food. While I don’t particularly recommend either of these activities, there is something to be said about finding enjoyable hobbies and “simple pleasures” in life. As long as it is meaningful or purposeful to you, then you should do it and enjoy it. 

As you mentioned, I possess a “short pug life.” I would like to say that many things in life are short, like my naps, my attention span, my legs, etc., but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t make the most of them. I’m enjoying my “short pug life” by wearing fun pug sweaters and wandering through the majestic world of Fairbanks Hall in my free time. I suggest you find something just as wonderful and fun to do as well.

May life treat you kindly,

Hank

 

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